Three generations of fun.

A week to remember will always be the week that a group spanning across three generations came to play at Chalet L’Oreade. Statham junior, Lindsey Statham; Senior, Wayne Statham; Grand Senior, Eddie ‘The Eagle’.

Wayne and Lindsey were both accomplished in their own right as winter-sports enthusiasts. A bout of story telling back home aroused the keen adventurous spirit of master Eddie, the Grandfather. Far from an ageing tea drinker and purveyor of things civilised, his CV was pretty impressive already and included a skydive within recent years.

So, after careful consideration and permission seeking the adventurer was set on one more journey and extreme sport to add to the grand list. Skiing was going to be the choice of how to get down the mountain for Eddie. Although a keen water-skier in his youth this was going to be different. After the first tentative lesson he was keen to show us the progress that he had made under the masterful guidance of a top ESF coach. The trouble was that after a bottle of mulled wine, it becomes quite hard to stay in control of a pair of skis when sliding down the mountain, especially after only two hours ever on snow. So, the demonstration turned into a dash to get to Eddie before he hit the line of people innocently making their way up the drag lift. Luckily Eddie sacrificed himself for these folk and snow-ploughed himself into the off-piste where things came to a natural conclusion. Perhaps it was better to head back after such copious amounts of alcohol we all decided.

Wayne had been pursuing some of his own goals higher up on the mountainside, trying to keep up with young Lindsey who was quite the bandit on a board. Wayne brought to mind Crouching Tiger hidden Dragon style when tearing away at the slopes on his skis.

So after some fodder and the dinner-table banter of ‘tall tales from the slope’ the scene was set for some serious days of skiing rather than drinking, or so I thought, as I settled in with the new guests.

The next few days saw some great skiing, although a little cloudy at times, and soon Eddie was progressing off the beginner slopes to the tree bound mecca of Morillon, and like a hobbit on a quest to get to Mount Doom, Eddie conquered the skiing mountain with a cool, calm and collected style akin to a true professional. It was very rewarding to witness someone of Eddie’s age approaching the sport with such a fun and positive attitude, who did so well. Awesome!

While Eddie got to grips with a woodland expedition, Wayne was shown how to go straight off vertical faces into powder fields. It did not take much to encourage Wayne to go first, down a sheer twenty foot incline with a tree inches from his hooting face. Without falling, he swooped down after a massive injection of acceleration that made his face contort, to a controlled finish on the shoulder of a small hillock. Wayne looked over at me and explained very professionally that that was the first time he had done anything like that. So with that we threw ourselves headlong into an off-piste session which had Wayne making noises all day long behind me, mainly noises of excited nervousness, I think!

A splendid week was had by all, topped off by a beer drinking session in which Eddie showed us all how to drink and sing sea shanties, he won the competition and I ended up loosing out that night, but I will get my revenge next year Eddie!

The G-spot goes off on a Monday night.

 

Coveys, the fantastical Irish bar is the only place to be in Samoens on a Monday night. Den of inequity, palace of pleasure, discoteque of funk, call it what you wish, the music is fresh and funky. You might even witness the local pole-dancing club warming up, headed up by the wonderful Ali, with disciples Sanna and Lindsey wiggling the tush. Many fascinating events often unravel themselves in the course of an evening.

Since the neighbours have left the volume is now back to acceptable levels that will rock the foundation of your soul. This vibe will create some side effects which might include a tendency to break out into uncontrolled knee swinging, hip shaking and body popping even grinding in some cases. You have been warned!

The music often starts nice ‘n’ mellow with some reggae, dub, trip-hop and escalates its way into the regions of northern soul, funk, house, electro and even drum and bass. There’s always something new and unusual on the menu. This year there have been several splendid nights so far with a great local turn out.

If you come down in March there are going to be some G-Spot Cd’s available too, so get your butts shakin’.

Learning to Live a mountain dream.

Life at Chalet L’Oreade has flown by to a point now in February where an open sheet lies in-front of us, on which will be written many more tales of glorious sunshine, snow and tom foolery. But for now lets focus on the stories from the last few weeks.

Christmas saw some of the best conditions of recent winters, skiing was fantastic and blue-bird skies were a common place companion to each day. In fact this year has been typified by very clear skies and quick one day snowfalls.

New year’s eve, and Chalet L’Oreade was host to a soiree for the local vicars and tarts. Robin Giles esquire came representing the cross-dressing constituents of the valley, accompanied by an eighties throwback welsh dancing queen. ‘Holy smoke!’

The Swedish brethren were also present in the form of ‘Halifax’ Toni, a true purveyor of fine cuisine, and ‘Flexible Dave’ who wooed people with his cereal box manoeuvres. A feast was prepared by  Mrs Giles, a classic English lady, accompanied by a priest whom has been on travelling on Safari in recent times, the right Reverend G.Giles. Father William Giles, who although short of sight, managed to catch a fine princess for the evening to accompany him to the rather humorous gathering, a miss L. Statham of dubious employ. To top the evenings vast array of characters a Mr T.Searby was to grace us with his presence. For those that do not know this young gentleman he is often mistaken to be of the fairer sex due to his particularly gentile facial complexion. His belle for the evening was the fallacious Charlie, tease and courtesan of high society gatherings back in our homeland of the United Kingdom.

The evening was a fine gathering of many different ideas and expressions of the present day. After searching for many treasures amongst our home we reflected on the merit of alcohol in modern society. A real test was laid out for us all after a stupendous feast consisting of fishes and rare meats, when each of our spirits were tested by the cereal box collection. A real spectacle for the ladies and menfolk, as each of us battled to retrieve the last forgotten pieces of that sacred cardboard relic we all start the day with. As the box was harder to pluck into the air, so the groans and contortions increased. Father Dave emerged victorious closely followed by Halifax Toni and Mrs Giles. A splendid night was had by all at the mountainside retreat of Chalet L’Oreade as the cold night air and snowy slopes listened intently to our plight.